I’m still here! I know it’s been nearly a month since I last posted, but now I’m excited to be coming to you from our new home surrounded by dense trees, soft sunlight and animal calls. We don’t *really* have internet here yet (just using phones and hot spots) so my posts may be few and far between for the next month, but I will do the best I can.
We moved February 16th, and for the first week or so about every few minutes I’d feel these fleeting moments of sheer panic. Where was I to put all our stuff?! We had just had a big garage sale and got rid of (what I felt was) a lot. Clearly, not enough. It’s not like this was the first time I’ve ever moved…how did I forget how overwhelming it can be? Boxes piled high, pictures to hang, furniture to rearrange. Just. so. much. work. And I know I’ve mentioned this before, but we have no closets. We designed our house to be simple, affordable, and possibly temporary- one day perhaps turning this house into a large garage/workshop for my husband. So we wanted to keep things as simple as possible. And I really love it, but it has been challenging to know where to put everything that once was housed nicely out of sight in a closet. But I’m loving the way everything is turning out, in all it’s unconventional-ness (yes I just made that up) and I can’t wait to share more on that with you later.
Marlee had a rough transition too. The first day she cried, told me she didn’t like the new house and wanted to “go home.” I just about burst into tears too. What do you tell your sweet weepy toddler- that you can’t ever go back “home” and that this new unfamiliar place is home? I remember those feelings. I was and am such a homebody. I remember spending the nights at “Grandma camp” and lying on the floor in my sleeping bag after a full day of fun, still wishing I wasn’t there but home. I remember the ache of homesickness. My heart broke for my little daughter. I really didn’t know what to say. I mustered up something feigning excitement of our new house and all the fun we will have here, still wishing I could take it all back and sweep her back to the place where I birthed her and she first inhaled this earth. The next few days she repeated her desire to go “home” but everyday with less tears and one day the requests stopped altogether. Sigh. She is making this her home. A stockpile of bubbles and bubble wands doesn’t hurt either.
The picture above is of Marlee on one of our walks. It’s really gorgeous here. And peaceful. Most of our 2 acre lot is densely wooded so its difficult getting around, but our neighbor’s lot (whom we know, although he doesn’t live on his property yet) has a nice trail cut through so we will often take walks through it. And the beauty and quiet of this place is like breath for my soul. The first day I was here, I didn’t even tackle the looming boxes in the living room; I just rocked and nursed my baby in my room, looking out the window listening to the rain drip-dropping on the forest bed of leaves. And I closed my eyes and breathed. Nothing else could be heard, and in that moment that drip- drop-dropping of rain sounded exactly like applause for the beauty of its Maker.
“…and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” Isaiah 55:12
And when we sit to dinner the sun sets right through the cluster of trees outside our window and it’s just like heaven breaking through. And I can breathe.
So while you may not have heard from me much lately, this is where I am… still unpacking, breathing, loving, settling in to new.